her als forum friends

My mom belonged to an ALS forum for the past 18 months. She made many friends there and got a lot of support from other people affected by this horrible disease. She was on it everyday. When she was in the ICU, I got on it one night and let all her friends know that she was in the ICU and probably not going to make it. There were pages and pages of people that were worried and praying for her. My brother read her every single post. Here are just a few that show how special my mom was to these people, and they had never even met in person...

Re: linda is in icu
My heart is shattered. This hurts so much...I can't even express how grateful I will always be to Linda. To me, she is the embodiment of pure human beauty and love. I have never known a kinder more gentle woman... and I have never even met her in person but her spirit is so radiant that she transcends the 2-dimensional contact that we have share over the internet. Kirk family, I know how much your hearts break. I can only say that your Linda lives forever in our hearts and in everything that is beautiful in her world: the flowers, the sun, the chickadees, horses, green grass, her gorgeous children and grandchildren, all of the items she knit by hand with love from her heart. Richard, her love for you shines through every word she has every written about you. I am sending you warm hugs.To Lance and Jen, my dad and your mom travelled similar ALS journeys. I know how painful this is right now and I can only promise you that her presence will remain a part of your every day no matter where she is. I'm sending hugs and love.

Jen, my heart is breaking at this news. Your mom means so much to so many people. She is such a special and radiantly beautiful person. Please hold her hand and whisper in her ear from all of us how much we treasure her. I have never met her in person but she has touched my life in such a significant way. She has sent me so many messages of support and sympathy and has helped me through the most difficult phase of my entire life. I can't even tell you how much she has illuminated this forum, but I suspect you have a pretty good idea.All my love to Linda and to you and the family.Big hugs,Rosella

Jen, this is such awful news. Your mom is such an inspiration to all of us here and especially for me because of how similar our progression is. I wish that I could be there to hold her hand and help her through this but I can't so please let her know that we all love her and hope that she is back with us soon.

Oh my God, I cant believe this is happening so fast! I am just devastated! I cant stop crying. Please hold her hand and tell her that Blubear loves her. Dear Rich, she loves you so much. I know that right now she is more concerned about you and how you are doing more than herself. You hang on to that. Jen, oh sweetie, your mom is beautiful inside and out. I never got to meet her in person, but I feel as though she is family to me. She loves you so very much. She worries you guys wont be okay. Let her know you will be okay. Please keep us posted. My heart is with you all, along with all my prayers and strength.Gentle hugs,Kari

Linda...we lift you up in prayers for a peaceful, loving, comfortable passing. You have been such a brave, inspiring source to all of us here on the forum. Go, dear child of God, into His arms where you will be whole and free from this disease.Prayers for strength to Richard and Jen as they have to let her go. May you find comfort in knowing your love has helped her fight with the grace and dignity she did. Peace to you and your family.My heart is so heavy...

Heartbroken, sad, devastated, hating ALS that is taking another one of our most loved members. A soul of such beauty, a heart filled with the love for her family, the class she carried no matter how difficult the situation. Her humor, her love of the outdoors, the sweet kindness of such a truly loving person. Always giving, always supportive, always a ray of true beauty. Her strength, her honor, her ability to laugh at ones self. She is known for her grace, her ability to try and make the best of any situation. Part of me never wants to let go of her, the other part wants her to be free of this horrible disease she did not deserve to have. Still praying, still sending the true love and respect I have for her. Please keep us posted.Gently hugging all of you,

too much grief! TOo much beyond understanding. I grieve for Me, for US all who have lost such a wonderful, special, gentle kind spirit. I love her so much. But I am relieved she got exactly what she ^prayed for - a release before things got worse. SHe so dreaded complete handicap. Even an atheist like me cannot help but think that God heard her prayers and loved her too much to deny her release. Impossible to accept her loss. You as a family have been wonderful to her and gave her so much joy. I am so so so sorry for your loss

Dear Jen and Lance,Thank you so much for letting us know how things are going. I have such a deep deep sadness over the loss of her. It seems everywhere I go, I see someone who looks just like her, and I burst into tears. She was such a gentle loving soul. I want to share with you one thing that she told me. (if you hit search under paranormal experiences you will see it) My husband died suddenly almost 3 years ago. I was going through a particularly hard time this past May because it was our wedding anniversary coming up. I was just crying hysterically at my computer one night, and I felt a pat on my shoulder. An UNMISTAKABLE pat. It stopped my crying right away. I knew it was my husband trying to comfort me. When I posted that experience, Linda responded that it gave her goose bumps, because she so hoped that somehow someway she would be able to do that for all of you after she was gone. Look around for the clues, she is still with you right now, making sure you are all okay. I personally had a lot of experiences right after my husband died, and then over time not so many, except in times of extreme distress. I can still feel her love and concern for me she always had. I still cannot get over that I will not be talking to her anymore. Death is just so very hard. She was such a hugely loved family member here, we are all still reeling in grief. Please keep us up on how you are doing. It was such a major concern of hers that all of you will be okay. In her honor, we will all be there for you to help you through this difficult time. It is what she wanted. What she can no longer do, we shall try and do it for her. Love and Hugs to your entire family

This is just a few of the responses. She was loved so much by all of these people that never even met her. I hope, somehow, that she knows about these letters to her and us.

mom

Our mom passed away Sunday, August 29, 2010. She went peacefully, surrounded by her family. Before she passed, she woke up for a little while and we were all able to tell her that we loved her. We knew that she could understand us because she would nod her head and tears would well up in her eyes and go down her cheeks.

We can't believe that she is gone... but we know that she is watching over us:) She was the best mom in the world and we will all miss her more than words can express.

All of us holding her hand.
She was very brave right up until her last day. The day before she passed away she was dancing with Jaime. When she stumbled she said "When I stumble, I'll just say that it's part of my dance"... She was an amazing person and will be missed very much. She bought bracelets and necklace's for all of us that said "love u more".. She had Jaime hand them out to all of us at the funeral. Ok mom, u got the last word on that one... But we still love u a whole lot:)

long time, no post!

this little blog has been neglected lately. i think it's because of facebook.. a few weeks ago my mom had to have a stomach tube put in. it was an adjustment getting used to it. but now she can get the liquids and nutrients that she needs. c and i were able to go out to denver and spend a few days with her and the fam.. here are a few pics

update

My mom had a feeding tube put in on Thursday. It was a tough week. We all knew this would have to be done eventually. Everything went well. Her oxygen level was low and so she stayed in the hospital an extra night. But she is now home and recovering. We all luv her so so much! I went out to spend the 2 days before her surgery with her. She was still smiling. We are making the most of every day that we have with her. We consider every day a blessing! Pics coming soon:) jen

chickadee story from mom

In October of last year I lost my dear friend, Ann. She was brave and good and always upbeat. I loved her like a sister. We spent lots of time together the last five years. We loved to knit together at a little knit shop in Pagosa. We would share a sandwich every Tuesday. We played Canansta and Tien Lien once a month. She was a big part of my life. She lived everyday like it was the last. She taught me perseverance, patience, and that everything would be alright- not to worry about things you can't change.

She left this world with grace and dignity. I hope I learned this lesson well and can do the same. I do believe I spent so much time with her the last year of her life to prepare me for my future... "Thanks Ann!" About a week after Ann past away, a little mountain chickadee came to visit me at my window in the bedroom of the cabin. We had talked about how I loved chickadees and she loved blue birds. I asked her if she was afraid to die. She said "No way, why would I be?" I told her that I was. She asked, "of what and why?" I told her, "I guess the unknown." Ann said she would somehow let me know she was okay...

About a week after Ann passed, a little chickadee came to my window. It would fly up and down at the door window. I would walk to the screen and the little bird would stay there going up and down, then it would land on the railing for a while. This went on for weeks. One day it was gone.. I did feel like this little chickadee was a message that Ann is fine and to be happy. Four months later, I was diagnosed with ALS. This is a journey I was not ready for. It has been very hard on me and my family.

It is now fall, and life goes on, and in some ways it is easier. The shock of it all is less. The disease continues to progress. We all have our moments, they are hard and sad, but we continue on with life and days come and go until the next moment.

I was having one of those moments about a month ago. I prayed very hard that I could feel better, not so sad, prayed for comfort...fell asleep crying...

In the morning, a very fun surprise came back to me. I was out feeding my birds-lots of different kinds. I was standing on the deck, all the bird houses filled with seed. I sat watching the birds eat. I wondered if the birds might eat out of my hand. I held it out with seed and in a few minutes the chickadee landed on my hand. I really couldn't believe it. Every day, I go out and feed the little chickadee. I think truly this little bird is a sign to me that my Heavenly Father knows me and what my family and I are going through. It is a comfort and somehow makes me feel better.

I love that my grandchildren have visited Richard and I at the cabin and experienced feeding the chickadees.

wild birds

Here are some pics of s and l feeding the wild birds with grandma:))




We had so much fun. It was the best Thanksgiving ever!!!

Sorry it took so long to update...

Hi Everyone, I haven't really felt like updating "not good news"...I am sure everyone has been worried, and wondering how my mom is doing and how all of her appointments these last few weeks went.. Well she is progressing...Her speech, swallowing, and breathing are worse. She visited her pulmonary doctor last week who did a number of breathing test while being monitored..Also they tested her while she was sleeping. They have ordered her a Bipap (something to help with her oxygen- breathing machine) which she'll have in the next few days...Sadly it wasn't good news...My mom and dad are still doing very well, staying strong, and looking forward to the holidays..They are so amazing......I love you mom!!!