chickadee story from mom

In October of last year I lost my dear friend, Ann. She was brave and good and always upbeat. I loved her like a sister. We spent lots of time together the last five years. We loved to knit together at a little knit shop in Pagosa. We would share a sandwich every Tuesday. We played Canansta and Tien Lien once a month. She was a big part of my life. She lived everyday like it was the last. She taught me perseverance, patience, and that everything would be alright- not to worry about things you can't change.

She left this world with grace and dignity. I hope I learned this lesson well and can do the same. I do believe I spent so much time with her the last year of her life to prepare me for my future... "Thanks Ann!" About a week after Ann past away, a little mountain chickadee came to visit me at my window in the bedroom of the cabin. We had talked about how I loved chickadees and she loved blue birds. I asked her if she was afraid to die. She said "No way, why would I be?" I told her that I was. She asked, "of what and why?" I told her, "I guess the unknown." Ann said she would somehow let me know she was okay...

About a week after Ann passed, a little chickadee came to my window. It would fly up and down at the door window. I would walk to the screen and the little bird would stay there going up and down, then it would land on the railing for a while. This went on for weeks. One day it was gone.. I did feel like this little chickadee was a message that Ann is fine and to be happy. Four months later, I was diagnosed with ALS. This is a journey I was not ready for. It has been very hard on me and my family.

It is now fall, and life goes on, and in some ways it is easier. The shock of it all is less. The disease continues to progress. We all have our moments, they are hard and sad, but we continue on with life and days come and go until the next moment.

I was having one of those moments about a month ago. I prayed very hard that I could feel better, not so sad, prayed for comfort...fell asleep crying...

In the morning, a very fun surprise came back to me. I was out feeding my birds-lots of different kinds. I was standing on the deck, all the bird houses filled with seed. I sat watching the birds eat. I wondered if the birds might eat out of my hand. I held it out with seed and in a few minutes the chickadee landed on my hand. I really couldn't believe it. Every day, I go out and feed the little chickadee. I think truly this little bird is a sign to me that my Heavenly Father knows me and what my family and I are going through. It is a comfort and somehow makes me feel better.

I love that my grandchildren have visited Richard and I at the cabin and experienced feeding the chickadees.